Y'all, I'm dumb.
I've thought a lot of things as this night has progressed, but I'm lowkey disappointed that I haven't thought this yet: it's okay... because this isn't something that God wanted to happen. This ENTIRE time I've been praying, "God, if you want this, take it, let me get it, and, if not, that's okay, I'll be okay, it's not mine anyways." It was never mine to begin with. God didn't make it happen, so He didn't want it. He's got something else planned. Whatever that is, it's probably not as big and probably not as grand (at least, in my eyes) but it's something He has planned, and that's cool. That's the best, actually.
But the point is, I need to not be feeling bad about not getting it. GOD DIDN'T WANT IT. THAT'S OKAY. That has been the agreement from day one. sO iT's aLL gOoD, iT's aLL GoD.
