This might just be a personal thing, but I don't tell people about auditions I go out to. (Okay, I know I definitely wrote about my audition like a month ago, but that's because this blog is for me and no one else reads it.)
But my mom told her friends. And her friends have been asking me, "How did your audition go?" and she even told everyone that I got a callback, so they're asking how that went (it hasn't happened yet) and I usually respond with an instinctual saltiness, just because it's a, "are you kidding, my mom told YOU too??" Like... it's my deal, and my deal only. I think my mom mentions it to others so that they can pray that for me, that they go well, but... I mean, even I'M not praying to God that they go well, because I'm praying, "If I get this, God, it's yours, I'll do it for your glory because the only way this will happen is by your works, and if this isn't something you want, then that's okay."
I appreciate the effort... kinda... I appreciate that there IS effort going into helping me, like, do well, and I guess I don't want to slam it just for the fact that it comes form a different mindset than mine. I mean, people can pray all they want about my auditions, but I've chosen to give it all to God, because, honestly, what do I know? .....what do I know.
Anyways. I don't even tell my friends about my auditions, except for Nya, she's been my acting buddy from day one. I don't really audition for film anymore, but when I did, we'd go out for the same roles (haha she would always get them though) and we really understand each other because we're both biracial actors pounding the pavement to break into this industry. So I told her about the audition and callback (also she's integrated into this theatre's community as well, I'm not sure if I would keep her updated if she wasn't, but she's relevant), but I'm not telling even my other closest friends. I do this because I don't like people to know when I don't get things. It's partially because other people don't understand that, as an actor, you really don't get much at all of what you audition for, and other people just don't know what to say when they hear that you didn't get it. They try to, like, CONSOLE you and it's like - no - just - stop, you're making this bad when it wasn't bad in the first place. And, also, why let them see your failures? I know it's not very transparent of me, but I like to keep things under wraps until they are perfect and ready to be revealed. It doesn't hurt to say a little bit less about what I'm doing, and it makes me look like I achieve everything I try for (which isn't the case, but, hey, again, it doesn't hurt to have people think that... if they do think it).
I just think it's common courtesy not to talk about your auditions. It's your deal, and also, for big film productions, you're generally asked not to speak about the auditions because the production company doesn't want word out that they're creating and casting for something. It's all very hush-hush. So it's really, REALLY courtesy to keep it quiet, because these productions, they're more than you.
I write this post for two reasons:
1) to kind of vent about how irritated I am that all of my mom's friends know that I have a callback coming up, like they're GONNA keep asking, and if I don't get it, I'll have to tell them that, and if I get it, I'm still going to take a while before I let people know (you aren't supposed to announce your cast placement until the theatre either gives you a green light about announcements or they announce the cast themselves) so I'll have to lie to them and say I haven't heard back yet, or something. I mean, I could say that I'm not allowed to tell, but that implies that I got it, and then they'd know. Honestly, maybe - if I get it - I just won't even tell my parents, I'll just tell Nya, until I'm allowed to tell EVERYONE because I know that if I tell my mom, she's going to tell everyone and I can't have that!! I need to contain information. Okay, and, after all, this is my deal, and I think that I should have the rights to who knows about these things. I'd rather personally tell my friends (which will still take me a while to do, because the whole thing about having to wait) before it gets all leaked to my mom's friends. Ugh. I just don't like that everybody knows my stuff, and it wasn't even my choice.
2) to lowkey complain about friends talk about auditions on facebook... I guess, mostly, this one who really talks about it a lot. Like... what do you think you are. No, like... you're supposed to talk about the final product. "Hahaha just got a callback for a yoga studio commercial even though I don't do yoga" okay well you know what would be more impressive? When you lowkey post the completed commercial. If you even book it. It's kind of embarrassing to be an actor who everyone knows always goes out for audition, but no one hears of or sees any final product.
Like, y'all. Just don't talk about it. Anyone can audition for something. It's just a select few who actually get cast, and, until that's you, you aren't special.
