Things not to give to me for Christmas:
1. Chocolate. I know I like chocolate. But don't give it to me for Christmas, because I don't ever eat THAT MUCH, and you're gonna give me THAT MUCH because you'll look THAT STUPID if you give me like just a little. If you give me chocolate, I'm gonna feel obligated to like eat it, and I don't need all of that. I will get chocolate on my own when I want it or when I come across a small amount of it. But it's such a cop-out gift. Please don't do chocolate.
2. Jewelry. I don't wear it, mostly cause I have to take it off to shower, and then I usually just don't bother putting it back on, and it never gets worn. Also, jewelry is either cheap or expensive. If it's cheap, I can't wear it cause it's probably nickel, which I'm allergic to. If it's expensive, I'm just gonna feel bad that you spent money on something I don't even really like.
3. Lotion. Okay, I like soap, but, like, it's gotta be the cool kind, ya know, not like just a bottle of Bath and Body Works. If it's, like, charcoal soap or some cool handmade-looking bar soap, then I will love you, but if it's just cop-out liquid soap, then I mean, I have that already and don't really need more. But about lotion... that's so cop-out, too. That's really all I have to say about it, it's cop-out.
And I know I'm saying that a lot of things are cop-out, and I don't mean to imply that I'm, like, too good to be given cop-out gifts, but the thing is, you can spend that same amount of money on something I'll like. Cause a lot of things I like are things that aren't that expensive. You could literally give me a sheet of postage stamps, it'd cost you $10, and I'd like that way more than a $10 necklace or $10 lotion, cause I can and will use it to send mail to Broadway.
Postage stamps aren't the only thing I like, of course, I mean, there's always good pens, good pens are always welcome, there's good socks, those are so welcome, there's chapstick, I like that, there's SO MUCH.
And if you'd like the BEST cop-out (and this time I mean that in a positive way), Amazon or iTunes gift cards will always be loved and cherished.
Merry Christmas.
